First Date Ideas for Dating After 45

If your last first date was a few decades ago, the idea of meeting someone new can feel daunting. The good news is that first dates at this stage of life tend to be far more relaxed. Most people simply want a pleasant hour or two in good company, and a chance to see whether there's a spark worth following up.

Keep the first meeting short and simple

A first date doesn't need to be an evening out. An hour or two during the day takes the pressure off you both, makes it easy to part politely if it isn't right, and leaves you looking forward to more if it is.

Daytime ideas that work well

• Morning coffee or afternoon tea. A classic for good reason: relaxed, inexpensive and easy to extend if you're enjoying yourselves.
• A garden, park or National Trust visit. Strolling side by side makes conversation flow more naturally, and there's always something to talk about.
• A gallery, museum or exhibition. Many are free, they're usually peaceful, and they give you plenty to share opinions on.
• A farmers' market or food hall. Lively, informal and full of small talking points.
• A pub lunch. Comfortable, unhurried and ideal if you're both fond of good food.
• Something you both love. If you've discovered a shared interest while messaging, such as gardening, local history, live music or walking, build the date around it.

Ideas to save for later

• A long formal dinner. Lovely once you know each other, but hard to leave early if the chemistry isn't there.
• The theatre or cinema. Wonderful for a second or third date, but you won't get much chance to talk.
• Weekends away or long day trips. Keep the first meeting somewhere you can easily get home from on your own.
• Meeting at either of your homes. Wait until you know each other well.

Before you go

A phone or video call beforehand is a good way to check you get on, and to make sure the person is who they say they are. Then:

• Choose somewhere public, with other people around.
• Let a friend or family member know where you're going, who you're meeting and when you expect to be home.
• Make your own way there and back, rather than being picked up from home.
• Keep your phone charged, and send a quick message to someone once you're safely back.

On the day

Be yourself, ask questions and really listen to the answers. It's natural to talk about children, grandchildren or past relationships, but try to keep the focus on the person in front of you and what you enjoy now. Settle the question of who pays before the bill arrives. Splitting it is perfectly normal, and many people prefer it on a first date.

Afterwards

A short, friendly message later that day or the next morning is always appreciated, whatever you decide. If you'd like to see them again, say so. If not, a kind and honest reply is far better than silence, and the one-click replies make it easy to decline politely.